You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
