i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
