I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she pinky promised me she was 18
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
