Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
