i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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