my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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