Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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