Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Randomize
