I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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