your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
