:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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