my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
