I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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