Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
