Yo dont text me then not text me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pants are for mortals
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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