Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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