I think I won the penis lottery.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
