Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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