Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
