so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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