There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
