i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
