About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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