glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
