Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
