I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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