STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
