whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
