I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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