are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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