I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
