Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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