You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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