so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
