It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
