**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
