Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
