Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
