I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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