we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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