I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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