just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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