Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
