she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
