you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
