so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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