when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
