would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
