So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
