I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
