I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
