does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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