I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
