What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
